Sunday, May 29, 2016

Why France is stalking me

You know those bloggers who are constantly getting uptight about their stats? The ones who have memorized how many followers they have on Facebook and twitter and Instagram and Pinterest and they know how many unique visitors they get each month? (And I must interject...ALL my visitors are unique. Who wants run-of-the-mill visitors? But I digress.)

Well, I rarely pay any attention to that stuff, because I don't make any money blogging (I don't make any money teaching school, either, but that's another story for another day.)

this is a free photo from shutterstock. I was not recently in France, which makes this all the more confusing.


Once upon a time I was 21 and cute and fearless and I went to France. I loved it. More importantly, France loved me. And I was the toast of the town. (Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration. But cute guys did buy me drinks.)

My husband has threatened to take me back to France, but I would rather go somewhere I've never been. Plus, there's no duplicating or even bettering that experience because I'm not 21 and cute and fearless. So I have opted for Switzerland or Austria instead, if we ever retire.

So you can imagine my surprise when I clicked on my stats this morning and saw that sometime in the night, a thousand visitors came to my blog. And they were French.


My first thought when looking at this map was...darn those Russians! They skew my stats! But then I see that FRANCE is darker green than even Russia is! What?!?!

I have been wracking my brain to try to figure out why France might be stalking me. And I have come up with two possibilities:

1. They want to copy my style. Because I am so fashion-forward. Everyone knows that the next big trend will be dead people's stuff. You will decorate in tchotchkes and wear those skinny weasels around your neck.

photo courtesy of etsy, where this is no longer for sale, darnit.


2. They want me to come back. They are sitting there in France, saying things like "do you remember that cute little American girl? I wonder what she's like now." And then they hunt me down on the interwebs and visit the blog.

So if you're French...welcome! I'm not twenty-one and cute anymore. 
                                        But I do have a weasel.

12 comments:

Andrea said...

Bon jour! C'est extraordinaire!!!

Tina@WhatWeKeep said...

A most excellent post. <3
I now require a weasel.

Eliesa Prettelt said...

😆

karen@somewhatquirky said...

Well. It is likely that your stats were effed up and that a thousand readers from France did not visit you... but should you decide to be more trusting, far be it from me to question your stats. But you definitely deserve a trip to Paris

karen@somewhatquirky said...

Well. It is likely that your stats were effed up and that a thousand readers from France did not visit you... but should you decide to be more trusting, far be it from me to question your stats. But you definitely deserve a trip to Paris

Rose L said...

When you went to France before, did you explore other areas besides Paris? The Loire Valley is magnificent and the chateaus (castles) are wondrous. It was actually my favorite place! See photos here:
http://www.fodors.com/world/europe/france/the-loire-valley/gallery/chateau-of-villandry-loire-valley-france?slideshow=true

Linda @ it all started with paint said...

I disagree. I think you're still cute! :)

Kathleen George said...

I love your writing, you made me laugh!
Have a wonderful Memorial Day,
Kathleen in Az

Suziq1023 said...

Dang it. I just got a flowered hat and drug out more DPS. Now I have to find a weasel? Come on, Kirb, you're killin me....

AnnMarie aka Vintage Junkie aka NaNa said...

I never check my stats either! I might now to see if anyone has visited from Italy, my country of choice....

Bliss said...

Is it possible there was a Russian group who went with a tour guide to France that day?

andi filante said...

I AM Weasel!!!

-andi

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