Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Some IMPORTANT CHRISTMAS INFORMATION!




1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? ~  Are you kidding me? You can’t be serious. There are RULES, people! If it is a box, you wrap it in paper. If it is a weird-shaped, un-boxed thing---gift bag. I can’t believe you are asking this. There are rules. Follow them. Sheesh.

2. Real tree or artificial? ~  My friends own a real Christmas tree farm. The tree lot is a great place to party. Especially if you have hot chocolate and Kaluha or Bailey’s. But my son is allergic to fir. I have had artificial forever, and I used to have one of those old ones that you had to insert each branch individually and it was a HUGE pain in the ass. So a few years ago I bought one of those 9’ slim trees, pre-lit, that came in only three sections. It rocks.  I wish I was more like it...slim and lit.

3. When do you put up the tree?  ~ Asking me when I get things up is just plain nosey.

4. When do you take the tree down? ~  When I get around to it. It’s fake, so I don’t have to worry about it drying out and bursting into flames. One instance of spontaneous combustion can really ruin your day.

5. Do you like eggnog? ~  I like a little bit of eggnog with my brandy.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? ~  A pony. Oh, wait. I never did get that pony. But if I had received a pony? That would have been my favorite gift.

7. Hardest person to buy for?  ~ I really shouldn't have to buy any gifts, as just knowing me is a gift.

8. Easiest person to buy for? ~  Myself. I always buy myself something I like just in case no one else does. I stick it under the tree and say it’s from my Aunt Danuta in Poland. No one has yet figured out that I don’t have an Aunt Danuta, in Poland or anywhere else.

9. Do you have a Nativity Scene? ~  Somewhere in the attic. I don’t go up there, though. I might disturb the Frank family.

10. Mail or e-mail Christmas cards? ~  USPS. Some time in April.

11. Worst Christmas gift ever? ~  Being left at the altar. (Actually, that never happened. I just wanted to say it.) A box of tampons. I am not joking.

So please keep all this important information somewhere safe so that you can refer back to it while you do all your holiday planning!

16 comments:

Laura @ Top This Top That said...

ha. you are too funny. great way to start my morning.

Danni@SiloHillFarm said...

You are so awesome...I am cracking up about the attic comment! Also, you just made me realize that I too have an Aunt Danuta in Poland and I can't wait to unwrap her present. (That means we might be related.) And yes...knowing you is a gift! LOL!

Cheryl Thornton said...

great tips...last year I wrapped everything in bags...but most years I enjoy wrapping the gift more than buying it!!
Still laughing over your "worst gift" - mine was an immersion blender...I think I still have it somewhere in the back of a cabinet - here's hoping there will be none of that crap under our trees this year!!! LOL

Cheryl @ The Creative Me and My McG

Art and Sand said...

You are definitely a gift this morning - I needed a good laugh.

Andrea said...

Hilarious, and I haven't even gotten nogged yet (as in egg, thankyouverymuch, ahem). Thank you for this gift. I love it AND it fits!

Cassie @ Primitive & Proper said...

oh you crack me up!!!!! loved reading this. :) aunt danuta might be getting me something this year, and not tampons, however useful those may be.

Tina@WhatWeKeep said...

LOVE!!! I'm going to jump on the Aunt Danuta train, too. I might have a few more in other countries. This is our secret plan from now on...you are still our great leader (and gift), KirbyWan Carespodi.

Miss Kitty said...

Every Christmas shopping trip, I always find way more for myself than other people...I'm pretty sure my son won't think about buying me anything so I always have lots (purchased and wrapped "according to the rules" by me) under the tree. Thanks for all the Christmas info, Kirby!

Heidi @ Decor & More said...

Can always count on you for a coffee-snarfing LOL, Kirbs! Have a great day ~ xo Heidi

AnnMarie aka Vintage Junkie aka NaNa said...

you're funny!!

laura@notatrophywife.com said...

Funny Lady! Thanks for the laugh!

Feral Turtle said...

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA Cheers!

Karen said...

Hilarious and just what I need in light of the race to the finish line that is year's end.
Karen

Bliss said...

Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Mel@Mellywood's Mansion said...

LOL thanks that clears up all my christmas questions

karen@somewhatquirky said...

I promise not to ask you when you get things up if you promise not to ask me. I love it when you write.

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