Wednesday, November 19, 2014
Some IMPORTANT CHRISTMAS INFORMATION!
1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? ~ Are you kidding me? You can’t be serious. There are RULES, people! If it is a box, you wrap it in paper. If it is a weird-shaped, un-boxed thing---gift bag. I can’t believe you are asking this. There are rules. Follow them. Sheesh.
2. Real tree or artificial? ~ My friends own a real Christmas tree farm. The tree lot is a great place to party. Especially if you have hot chocolate and Kaluha or Bailey’s. But my son is allergic to fir. I have had artificial forever, and I used to have one of those old ones that you had to insert each branch individually and it was a HUGE pain in the ass. So a few years ago I bought one of those 9’ slim trees, pre-lit, that came in only three sections. It rocks. I wish I was more like it...slim and lit.
3. When do you put up the tree? ~ Asking me when I get things up is just plain nosey.
4. When do you take the tree down? ~ When I get around to it. It’s fake, so I don’t have to worry about it drying out and bursting into flames. One instance of spontaneous combustion can really ruin your day.
5. Do you like eggnog? ~ I like a little bit of eggnog with my brandy.
6. Favorite gift received as a child? ~ A pony. Oh, wait. I never did get that pony. But if I had received a pony? That would have been my favorite gift.
7. Hardest person to buy for? ~ I really shouldn't have to buy any gifts, as just knowing me is a gift.
8. Easiest person to buy for? ~ Myself. I always buy myself something I like just in case no one else does. I stick it under the tree and say it’s from my Aunt Danuta in Poland. No one has yet figured out that I don’t have an Aunt Danuta, in Poland or anywhere else.
9. Do you have a Nativity Scene? ~ Somewhere in the attic. I don’t go up there, though. I might disturb the Frank family.
10. Mail or e-mail Christmas cards? ~ USPS. Some time in April.
11. Worst Christmas gift ever? ~ Being left at the altar. (Actually, that never happened. I just wanted to say it.) A box of tampons. I am not joking.
So please keep all this important information somewhere safe so that you can refer back to it while you do all your holiday planning!