** I'm dreaming of...well, actually I'm dreaming of Rick Moranis, even though I broke up with him. But it probably sounds cooler to say I'm dreaming of George Clooney or Hugh Jackman, so just pick one of those.
** I'll have a blue Christmas without oxygen. (Really. Because then you're cyanotic.)
** O Little Town of ___________________ (fill in the blank with any of the following: Wolcott, North Rose, Clyde, Sodus, or, if we're talking REALLY little, South Butler.)
** Deck the Halls with...well, I've found it's easier to deck the halls after I've swabbed the deck, and the deck usually needs a good swabbing after I've decked somebody, 'cause there tends to be blood involved.
** Sleep in heavenly peace, until I have a hot flash. Then it's more like hell.
** In the meadow we can build a snowman. Or go cow tipping, whichever.
** On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...a beer. (You TOTALLY knew that was coming!)
** Haul out the vodka...
** O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree...it's a pain in the a$$ to get your lights on.
** We three Kings...need a fourth so that we can totally win this hand.
** City sidewalks, busy sidewalks...watch out for muggers!!
** He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake...and you probably should get a restraining order.
** Have yourself a merry little cosmo....
** 'Tis the season to be...well, I'm sure it's the season to be something, but I bet it isn't the season to wrap your head with metallic ribbon and talk like Prissy from "Gone With the Wind," but I seem to be doing that a lot lately.
** Last Christmas, I gave you my heart. The very next day...you gave it to some homeless guy so that he could pawn it for money to buy another fifth of Mad Dog. Thanks a lot.
** Here we go a-wassailing among the leaves so green...does this sound vaguely pornographic to anyone other than me?
** It came upon a midnight clear...not gonna touch this one. Nope.
** A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight......walking in our winter underwear.
** Troll the ancient Yultide carol...is that anything like trolling for guys?
** Joyful and triumphant...courtesy of Xanax!