Friday, June 27, 2014

Bliss is Back!

I had to dip Kirby in honey and hang her over an ant hole to get her to agree that I should be allowed a guest post on her blog.  I mean, the last time I did a guest post here was while she was on vacation and I pissed off her neighbors.

But now that she's got this new blog thing going on that she explained {here}, where I can just write words without offering up pretty pictures, well - I really wanted in on that.

And I hear tell while I'm at Kirby's place I can be a bit tongue in cheek, somewhat sarcastic, poke fun at life, and shoot glitter outta my azz.

All stuff I'm good at in real life.

Kirby didn't give any boundaries, and I haven't actually thought long and hard on what to type.  Basically it's gonna be whatever strikes me at the moment.  And at the moment it strikes me to type my words using spellings such as "gonna" instead of "going too" and "outta" instead of "out of", and very probably using "would of" instead of "would have".

It doesn't bother me one bit if those spellings bother you.  Get over it.

Because that's the way I talk.  It doesn't mean I don't know the difference, but for the love of glitter the last thing I intend to do on Kirby's blog is always follow the rules and do what people want.


Kirby's been talking about wanting to be a writer and Huffington Post stuff, and that makes me think I should be reading a broader range of material.  But I haven't.  And I'm not really someone who is star struck so I don't always pay attention to celebrity news.  I grew up among the beautiful people of Hollywood and had my brush with the famous on numerous occasions.  I'm not above making fun of them for their behavior, but I do cut them some slack on getting old, maybe because I can relate.

I've decided celebrities fall into two categories...... normal folks who happen to be famous, or total geeks who if I met in real life I'd think they were weird.

Yet sometimes gossip headlines do catch my eye.  Particularly, this one, 
"Celebrities Who Have Aged The Worst".

Aged the worst?  I scrolled through every so titled 'worst aged' celebrity photo {here}.  Look through the list yourself, no doubt there are some reallllly rotten photos of some of them.  I'm thankful no one hides in my bushes while I lay by the pool or around the last few days before I get my roots touched up.

Celebrities can't always control the photos that we see, and for me no amount of money can convince me that I want the UPS man to see what I look like in the morning by picking up a magazine.  I prefer to scare him in person.

Like I said, I'm not above making fun of the same people the tabloids do - for how they behave - not for their skin starting to sag.  So I concluded as I looked that list over that I don't think some of the famous folks belong on it.  Or maybe even none of them!  I guess I just don't fault someone for aging.  Who doesn't look worse for the wear than they did compared to their glory days?

But it happens.  To. All. Of. Us.  We do age.  All I can say is thank you God Of The Lens, that there are no paparazzi around to document when I'm shooting glitter outta my azz.  Like I want everyone to see my dark under eye circles, hair-doos that are really hair-don'ts, and the most offensive of course, my photo on the cover of People Magazine pondering, "Has Bliss gained weight in her badonkadonk?".

On the list I skipped right over any celebrity who was still in their 20's or 30's.  If they were looking bad in the 'worst aging' photo, that's not aging per se, that's just getting ugly, usually from poor choices.  And for the ones who put on a few pounds, well I don't think gaining weight automatically concludes stars are aging badly.

I tend to believe it means they can eat at the best tasting restaurants.

Aging is when the body does stuff to 'ya that you can't control.  Sag, wrinkles, dark spots, chin hairs.  In Hollywood there is supposed miracle fix's for all those things if you want to pay to fix it.

In the badly aged category often stars do it to themselves by living wild in younger years, or altering what they ended up with in their older years.  All the needles a person can have stuck in their face to fill it in, hollow it out, color it up, well it might look decent in a glossy, but what do they look like naked?  Oh wait, T&A can be lifted  and tummy's can be tucked.

If you constantly had the possibility of being photographed and the money to potentially stop the hands of time from ticking any faster, would you?  No fair answering that if you are not over 50.  I guess I'd have to develop a thick skin to have a constant critique on my looks.  But then I'd have my thick skin critiqued wouldn't I?


Eventually the upkeep on all that staying good looking for photos has to get the best of them, and that's when the camera that lies in wait to snap unflattering pictures clicks away and captures a moment that makes the rest of us feel better about ourselves.

So does that mean they are aging badly or just aging?

Keith Richards, current age 71.  Photo Source: www.Ranker.com
Come ON, be fair!  Keith Richards had a self admitted party life, so if he looks a little rougher than your grandpa you should understand why.  But he is 71.  I don't know about you, but when I was in my 20's or 30's, (and older) I wasn't lusting after 71 year old dudes no matter if a camera thought they were aging good or not!

I also expected anyone that age not to look 40 or 50, because. they. aren't.

Mary Tyler Moore will be 78 this year.  Photo Source: www.Ranker.com
Mary Tyler Moore will be 78 this year.  What do you think you're gonna look like in your 70's?  She's a 78 year old lady people....... 78 year old ladies have wrinkles.  How on earth can anyone say she hasn't aged well at that age?

Photo Source: www.Ranker.com
Clint Eastwood just had his 84th birthday.  He's 79 years old in the photo above. He was born in 1930.

!! N i n e t e e n  T h i r t y !!

I think he looks better than most 79 year old men I pass on the street.  What the helll is he doing on a list of celebrities who haven't aged well?  Maybe he could just be on a list of celebrities who have aged.... period.  Because. He. Has.  Fact of life.

Money is no guarantee you will look young in your twilight years.

But being famous is a guarantee there will be someone waiting to take a photo of you and point out how your skin and badonkadonk have both gotten thick, and how that glitter your shooting outta your azz has lost some of it's sparkle.

My answer to that is a bit like Kirstie Alley's........

Photo Source: www.Ranker.com


22 comments:

  1. ok first of all i want us all (those who can, anyhow) to line up with our rears facing out and shoot glitter simultaneously. it will be like a magical modern care bear stare! or it will smell awful.
    secondly..... this was awesome! i love bliss. :) and i can't imagine having my photo taken every time i turn around- if my photo was taken 100 times a day there is a 99% chance of a bad photo. these people all look great. america is too harsh and those passing judgement should reflect upon themselves and their own choices.

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  2. My mom recently asked me if my daughter might want a wallet sized copy of one of my senior photos even though I don't look like that anymore. Ummm. Thanks Mom.

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  3. The fact that Keith Richards has made it to a point where we can talk about how he has aged is a miracle in itself! I'm too adverse to pain and the medical profession in general to have cosmetic surgery done but it sure would be nice if I could wave a magic want and move my breasts up where they are supposed to be.

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  4. I could not get the thought of you shotoing glitter outta my mind. I'm going to have to read this again ;) Love yours and Kirsty's response :)

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  5. I had to laugh at myself. My daughter is visiting right now so I stood up to take the photos of Brittany Spears to show her because they are the same age and my daughter at 33 looks darling. As I stood up, my 65 year old body slowly limped outside. Of course, in fairness to me, I played 2 sets of singles tennis this morning with my 70 year old tennis partner (we are the only ladies at the club who are our age and still play singles) and then walked 3 miles on the beach. Aging gracefully has gotten harder and harder since I hit Medicare.

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  6. hahaha too funny Bliss! If I had to choose whether I LOOK good, or MOVE good, I'd choose move. To me it's so much more important that I can keep moving and doing what I love than whether or not I look good doing it. Case in point, the webisode I did recently for Krylon. Do I like how I look? nope, too old, too fat--but at least I'm still able to do the things I love. :)

    great post! Kirby is brilliant for having you stand in for her. lots of love to both you gals!

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  7. My ex was very vain. He purchased all manner of hair stuff. And he didn't have very much hair. I mean, where on earth did he put it? Maybe he shared it with his girlfriends. He spent more on stuff for his eyes and his face than I ever have in a lifetime. Frankly, I just don't do any of that stuff. And my hair is getting gray. But hey, I'm 57! I can't believe I'm gonna tell this, but looks like I am. The funniest thing, and I don't exactly get it, but he would get out of the shower and walk around while "he made himself up" with toilet paper up his ass. I'm not sure what it was all about, but I think it had something to do with getting all those man parts dry. Every time I saw him, he looked like the friggin' Easter bunny! HAHAHA! Guess the mistress/wife gets to see it now. He use to say he really thought I liked getting old. I said: "Well hey, it's better than the alternative, isn't it?
    Brenda

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  8. Too funny. I think we get mad at celebrities who actually do get older and look it. I feel sorry for people who are no longer comfortable in their own skin. No one wants to get old, but after awhile some of these celebrities start looking like cartoon characters

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  9. Bliss is always so funny! I'd say that if you're on a list for not aging well, that just means you haven't been visiting a plastic surgeon. That's all they do in Hollywood these days. No wonder we're all afraid to look in the mirror after we get old. We are comparing ourselves to people that "aren't real"! And let's not forget about all the photo shopping going on out there too.

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  10. HAHA!! And you weren't just shooting glitter outta ur azz. Cheers!

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  11. I'm going to save this post for those bad glitter days, because laughter makes the best facelift! Thanks!

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  12. Well I'm on the fence with the whole Keith Richards thing. He's a little scary. But I'm on the boat with the rest. Don't get me started on having to listen to 30 somethings judge how people are aging. I guess they would rather everyone die than get a few wrinkles.

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  14. I am so thrilled to see Bliss visiting here. I hope the ants didn't bite. Being on the teetering side of heading into 50's, I am learning to make peace with some of the things that weren't there 10 years ago. I must admit to clicking through and perusing the pictures of the said celebrities. The one I could not wrap my mind around was Mickey Rourke. That HAS to be doctored!!! No one would let themselves get so puffy, still dress like they were a bad you know what in their 20's and then bleach and spike their the three tufts of hair they have left on their head. That picture was the stuff of nightmares!!!

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  16. It's no wonder these famous people have issues! I can't imagine being photographed as I hang clothes on the clothesline outside in my pj's with my morning hair sticking up all over the place and no makeup covering my age spots! hehe There is beauty in every age and it comes from within. Great post!

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  17. I never seem to notice when someone is getting a little older, year by year, in movies, tv, etc... But as soon as someone has altered their looks with facelifts, fillers and botox, I see flags waving above their head and glitter spewing like fireworks. I'm all for being the best that you can be, but when it's to the point when the altering is more distracting then the aging, what's the point? Growing old gracefully is the best that any of us can hope for.

    Best of luck, Kirby, in your "new more words, less photos" posting. Bliss can certainly deliver with an interesting read, photos or not.

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  18. Well written Bliss! I'd rather see someone aging naturally than see someones face pulled so tight it looks painful and what is it with the big lips???

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  19. Ah, Bliss. Refreshing as a cool breeze. With glitter, of course. :)

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  20. I'd never want to be famous...too much work. And glitter out my butt...well, the grandkids would be entertained...

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  21. I actually think the first picture of Kirstie is funnier than the second! Almostshowingboobiesglamourshot!!!

    And what the hell is that "crystal wilson" comment above?!

    Love you Bliss.

    -andi

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Your comment makes me feel twenty years younger and thirty pounds lighter!