Friday, January 3, 2014
The One in Which the Scary Men With Chainsaws Come To My House in the Night
I didn’t see it until about three months ago when the first guy showed up.
He rang the doorbell and asked me if I’d noticed the tree.
Of course I hadn’t. I don’t notice anything above the roof line unless it’s something crazy like the plane that crashed across the street last spring.
I took his card and handed it to my husband later that evening. Of course, HE had noticed that the tree was dead…had known it for months. But, in his own inimitable way, he neglected to do anything about it. He was going to wait to see if it would “come down on its own.”
I mentioned to DL that perhaps waiting until the ice took care of it for us might NOT be the smartest move he could make. Mainly because this tree leaned over the fence and onto the neighbors’ property.
So, last week when he was home and some new guys showed up with more chainsaws than teeth, I let him handle it. Of course he handled it in his own way—he hired the guys to start right away.
In the dark. With chainsaws.
Now I don’t know much about chainsaws, and even less about taking a tree down, but I’m guessing daylight would be the prime time for these implements and activities, rather than after dusk. But no…there’s DL, out in the neighbors’ yard, talking to the guys with chainsaws and no teeth, “supervising” the felling of a forty-foot pine. In the dark.
After an hour, DL came back inside and informed me that they were to finish up the next morning. “Sure,” I said. “Those guys aren’t going to come back. You don’t even know who they are.”
DL gave me a smug look. “They’ll be back,” he replied.
“How do you know?”
“I kept their chainsaws.”
Sure enough, they were back the next day, cutting the trees into pieces and leaving me with a stump, which I wanted. (I know that sounds like a euphemism, but I really do want a stump there.)
So while it started out in sketchy fashion, it turned out all right in the end. The toothless men got their chainsaws back, and I got my stump!