What teachers do when no one is looking...

 

 

Kids believe that teachers live at school.  This is not true.  In fact, lots of us leave before nightfall.  And on Wednesdays, we leave at 3:00 and meet at the River Birch.  (Or, as we like to call it, RB on the RH.)  Where we find half-price martinis and a bartender named Ryan who comps us chips and ranch.  We gave him a Visa card for Christmas and will be the "unofficial mothers of the groom," should he ever get married.

 

 Kids think we talk about them. While we are tempted, they take up very little of our time.  Instead, we talk about things like Cindy going home to Cincinatti, picking up Peter Frampton, and going on a search for Johnny Whitaker.  (If you know any of these people, bonus points for you.)

 

 

 

We let the world (okay...we let the restaurant) know how incredibly brilliant we are by singing the theme songs to The Beverly Hillbillies

 

 

 

 ...and The Facts of Life.

 

 

 

 

(Naturally, we discuss whether or not Jo and Jodie Foster have anything in common, as well as what exactly George Clooney was doing on the show.)

 

*Who the he!! would name their kid "Tootie," anyway?*

(No offense if you named your kid Tootie...but please tell me why.  Inquiring minds...)

 

So, there you have it.  You moms out there with kids in middle school---this is who the teachers REALLY are.  People with Masters' degrees who sing television theme songs.  In public.

As you can see...your kids are in good hands.