Thursday, November 29, 2012

Where's my free stuff?

As a blogger, I have no agenda. 
Seriously.  I don't.  (Do you hear me?  It's not just me trying to convince myself.  I am SERIOUS.)

But I would like some free stuff.  In fact, I even said so. (And I am way too drunk to hunt down that post.)  But no one is listening.

I mean...other bloggers get GREAT stuff for free, just by mentioning it.  Paint.  Organic milk. White flocked Christmas trees.  Liquor.  DID YOU HEAR ME??? THERE ARE SOME Bs GETTING LIQUOR FOR FREE!!! When that liquor should OBVIOUSLY be mine...mainly because I am drinking RIGHT NOW!!!

These are some of the things I want for free:

1.  A car.  I have never owned a new car.  Ever.  I began my adult life (at 22) with a used Ford Fiesta, and it's been ugly used cars ever since.  (Okay, maybe they're not always ugly, but they've always been used.  Like some of those chicks in high school.)  (Just kidding, high school peeps.)  So, I'd like a new SUV.  Just a small, reliable one, like this.

2.  A trip to Las Vegas.  DL has been to Vegas, but teachers don't get to go to cool conferences where people have fun and see shows and gamble and drink.  In fact, in North Carolina I can get fired for that stuff.  But DL gets to go to places like the Venetian and have all kinds of fun WITHOUT ME.  And I think the time has come (the walrus said) for me to have some fun, too. 

3.  Unlimited iTunes.  Because I know how to pick 'em.

4.  Liquor, of course.  It kinda goes without saying, but I said it anyway.

Photo courtesty of the Idaho Reporter.  I just think it's funny to say "Idaho."

 
So, if you are a company that sends free $hit to bloggers, put me on your list.
Seriously.

9 comments:

  1. I do remember your plea and cannot believe it has gone unanswered! I am still willing to send you something, but cannot commit to the level of fanciness or extravagance!

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  2. LMAO - I got free paint once and then the well ran dry - I'd love a free trip somewhere - we can call it a conference of some sort to make it sound legit - a little trip to Manhattan would be nice ( with drinks INCLUDED of course )
    xox

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  3. You are so funny! I have never gotten any free stuff either....and I did a whole post about Fall Alcohol with links to the companies and everything! Let me know if this works!!!

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  4. unlimited itunes would be dreamy! i love playing music!

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  5. You better be careful what you wish for..... free shit might be heading your way and it's hard to pour.

    Bliss

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  6. I think we both need a free trip to Vegas -- together, of course - where they will give us free drinks as we gamble. Free liquor. Free room and board. Free tan.

    I'm packing now ...

    :) Linda

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  7. I just almost snarfed my coffee when I read Bliss's comment... lol -- what a way to start the day! Here's to free $hit, Kirbs! I can send you teenagers for free, but then they end up costing you in the long run. :-)
    TGIF!
    xo heidi

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  8. Bliss! LOL, you'd better take her advice, Kirby.
    I can't believe you haven't gotten anything yet.
    Maybe on the solstice, when the planets align?
    Your luck could change and shit piles could appear out of nowhere.

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  9. So now would be a bad time to let you know I got home a few hours ago after using my free tickets to see "A Christmas Schooner"?

    Ok. I'll check back later.

    Love, Queen B

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Your comment makes me feel twenty years younger and thirty pounds lighter!