Wednesday, July 18, 2012

The less estrogen I have...

What it was, was football...thanks to google images and Andy Griffith

Sometimes, I am so ballsy  assertive, I even shock myself.

There are people who don't really know me who assume I have always been this way.  Not true!  For the first forty years of my life, I was pretty mild-mannered, not wanting to rock the boat.  I tried to stay away from confrontation.  Didn't like conflict.  Wanted just to go along to get along.

Now?  Not so much.

If I think you're wrong, I will let you know.  Politely, of course.
If I am wrong, I'll also let you know...and then I'll smack myself upside the head to let you know that I know. That I am wrong.
And if I want something...I'll ask for it.

This is a big change for me.  When I was younger, I just assumed people knew what I needed and they would make sure I got whatever it was.  (After all, it works for babies, doesn't it?)  Why shouldn't my husband understand that I need him to pay attention to me?  Why shouldn't he know he should take me out once in awhile?  Why don't coworkers intuitively "get" that I am interested in serving on a committee? 
Well, I have learned that if I want something, I need to tell somebody in language that is clear, not open to interpretation.  I assumed folks could "read between the lines."  I learned that most cannot.

My example:  I am taking part in the Blogging Without Borders challenge this summer, and one of my concerns is that I have too much crap  stuff in my living room.  I remembered a magazine article where a famous designer bought a new home and wanted it to be less-fussy than his/her previous home.  She/he then didn't like it because it didn't feel like him/her (names have been changed to protect my sorry a$$...not because this designer is of dubious orientation) and so he/she had to go and get new 'stuff.'  (And he/she had a bazillion dollars and many connections, so she/he could afford it, so it wasn't like it was a financial hardship or anything.)
So what did I do, now that I have less estrogen/more testosterone?  I googled and found this designer's "media liason" and asked if I could use famous designer's name. (As an aside: if any of y'all needs a "media liason," I will totally do that.  I would rock at that job.  I'm going to put together a "media liason" resume as soon as I post this.  I would call myself "media liason" if only to pronounce 'liason' with that nasally '-on' sound, like they do in France.)
I was rather surprised to get my answer as quickly as I did.  (Sometimes you wait weeks for a reply, at which point I either scrap the idea or go ahead with it without express permission.  It depends on how much money I think that person has to invest in a legal battle.)  What does this media liason say?  That the quote I mention is from seven or eight years ago, and his/her perspective may be different now.  The media liason would like to discuss something more current.

Okay, cool... then let's set up a time for an interview, and the famous designer and I can chat on Skype (as if I know how to use it) or on the phone.  But that doesn't really help for this blog.  But that's not what I said.  I said: 'All I want to do is mention that once upon a time, (he/she) tried to edit (his/her) living space and then had regrets.  I'd be happy to include a current quote, if (he'd/she'd) like to provide one...or devote an entire blog to what (she/he) does now with (his/her) brand ("branding" is also very big in blogging right now).  I don't need to use (her/his) name for the piece I'm working on now, if (she'd/he'd) rather not.'  Then I mentioned that this designer might appreciate a shout-out, along with a link to his/her website.

Mommy Wars?
I'm not participating.
I'm starting to act like a man.


Danni Baird @ Silo Hill Farm said...

I'm finding myself to be a little...ok...a lot more assertive in my old age! Don't know if it's because I realize that life is getting shorter or if it's just that 50+ years of "going with the flow" has been enough!!

Sweet Posy Dreams said...

I think it is true that women get bolder as we age. I think in large part we care less what people think of us. At least that's true for me. It also applies to going out without make-up!

Dharma said...

My Gramma used to tell me that when I got to be a *certain age* I would start to "take up more space"....which I always interpreted to mean I would become very fat. Now at 43, I know what she meant. ;)

Stacey @flickerwhips said...

Oh Gal, i'll be 44 this year and i know how you feel, i was mild mannered and basically a doormat, not anymore! Must have something to do with what i call the "Willis~Ekbom~hormone train," i can't get off of!!

Susan said...

Oh, I'm so different than I used to be. Now my philosophy is, "if you don't like what I look like or what I say, then just go away!" I am way more assertive than I used to be. AND, I'll wear what I want, decorate my house the way I want, and train my dog the way I want.

Little Miss Maggie said...

There are advantages to aging, one being I don't care what people think anymore. I live in my own little bitty world and they can live in theirs. Let us know if you get the media liason job. That sounds so fun.

Tina@WhatWeKeep said...

Yes, with age we do grow balls...and whiskers.

Cassie @ Primitive & Proper said...

ha ha! i love tina's comment! :)

MOV said...

Yay! Good for you for saying what you want. :)


Bliss said...

You didn't really need to ask to use their name did you? I don't want to break any rules when I mention some aging, big ball'd whiskery type designers (as per Tina).


Linda @ it all started with paint said...

Media liason is not all it's cracked up to be. Trust me. On one side you have some over-entitled "celeb" (and the lower the letter the more difficult and demanding they are) and then you have the media ... a whole other angry bunch to deal with ...



And I attribute my new pushy-ness to getting old and cranky!

Heidi @ Decor & More said...

Ha ha! Someday when my blog grows up I might need your media liason services. :)
xo Heidi

Eclectically Vintage said...

As we age, our mild mannered selves morph into bulldogs! Enjoy it - and give them hell (especially those damn media liaisons)!

karen@somewhatquirky said...

I'm exactly the opposite - I'm mellowing with age. I was BORN outspoken. It's rather nice not to be mouthing off about something all the time. I do rather miss my testosterone AND my estrogen though....but that may be a little TMI for a comments section

01 09 10