My dad made sure I got a sense of humor.
My husband made sure I got electricity.
Those who have houses built before the post-war suburban sprawl know what it's like to deal with rooms that don't have the modern conveniences. I'm not talking about stuff like indoor plumbing or air conditioning...no, I'm talking about electricity.
When we first moved to Brandywine, there was stuff like this
A phone jack inconveniently located under the kitchen counter, where it isn't really usable unless you have one of those hang on the wall phones, which I haven't seen since Washington Street.
|photo courtesy oldphoneworks.com|
So our phone set-up looks something like this:
...because the electrical outlet is over on the other side!
(Like a good portion of the 'updating' in this house, they got it horribly, horribly wrong.)
But the most amazing thing about this house was what you couldn't see: the wiring. (First of all, I will admit I don't know $hit about wiring. I am not to be trusted with anything that could be even marginally dangerous. What I am about to tell you has been told to me by experts. So it could all be scurrilous lies, but maybe not.)
When I took the piece of plywood down (with my bare hands!), not only were there mice, but there were wires. Lots and lots of wires. (Okay, maybe three. It sounds more dramatic to say 'lots and lots.') And when the cable boy left and my husband came home (at which time we still had no cable, dammit!), he looked at the wires. (My husband loves two things a whole lot: electricity and plumbing. I am third.) He got out an array of man stuff and he started doing things with the wires. I was bored (hello? It's just a wire. I'm going to Panera and schnab some wifi!) and about thirty minutes later he came in the kitchen, all agitated. Apparently, those wires were live. And not connected to anything.
Even Kirby the electrical idiot knows that it's not good to leave live wires dangling inside of walls. Something bad could definitely happen if you do that. But DL was on a mission. I think he wanted to rip out each and every wall with his bare hands and see if there were any more live wires dangling. I reminded him that we had spent a skillion dollars on the house, and why not just take our chances? After all, we were insured for fire, but not for his stupidity.
As we have made changes to the house, DL has made sure to check the wiring. In many cases, our discussions have gone something like this:
Kirby: Did you hear that crackle noise when I flipped that switch?
DL: No. Did it make a noise?
Kirby: I think so. Put your ear closer. (DL leans down, Kirby flips the switch.)
DL: Get the flathead. Let's take the switchplate off. (Kirby leaves and comes back with the screwdriver, pleased that she now knows what a flathead is. DL removes the switchplate.)
DL: (sniffing) Yeah. I can smell the electricity.
Kirby: That's not good, is it?
(DL ignores her in his rush to get all the proper man stuff so that he can update the wiring. Kirby just hopes it doesn't involve ripping out walls.)
Part 2 of the Brandywine saga was at Finding the Funny. These ladies are great!