Saturday, June 30, 2012

Brandywine, Part Deux

When we last saw Kirby, she was trying to talk her husband into buying a house that needed no renovating.
It was not working.


The 'deal' I made with DL was that if we were going to buy a fixer-upper, it was going to be in the rich peoples' neighborhood.  I KNEW that particular deal would freak Ebenezer out, and that he would say 'yes' to a brand new house.  I was using psychology!


Little did I know, DL can still surprise me.


Once we decided on the neighborhood, I starting making a list of what I wanted.
1.  It had to be a cottage.  Something like this:




2.  Bigger than this....




3.  But smaller than this...




4.  Not too plain...




5.  But not too funky...




And it had to have a "vibe,"  like this:




A rich peoples' vibe, because we were in the rich peoples' neighborhood.

Then, one day I saw that "one of those houses" was on the market.  You know the ones I mean...the 'Drive Bys.'  You drive by them every few months to see if anyone has changed anything.  The ones that make you say to yourself "I wonder what that looks like inside."  The ones where you want to peek in the windows, but you're scared you will be arrested.  I had been driving by Brandywine for twenty-five years, and finally I could LEGITIMATELY get inside!  What a coup!  So I called my realtor, who had been excruciatingly patient with me, and she made an appointment to see the house and two others in the neighborhood.  At the very last minute, DL decided he wanted to tag along.
(Looking at houses with my husband in tow is another story for another day. It should be sufficient to say: plan on that being the only activity for the day.  I can "feel the house" in ten minutes.  He pokes and prods and lifts and scrutinizes and examines and basically gives the house a physical, complete with bloodwork.  Sheesh.)

The first house we saw had the distiction of being part of a custody battle.  In fact, the wife had taken many items with her--she got custody of roses, light fixtures, and the fridge.  The husband was just trying to hold onto his sanity.  The house clearly needed fifteen thousand dollars worth of work before anyone could move in,  because there wasn't even any central air and it was May in the South.  We crossed it off our list.

I could tell from the moment we walked into the second house that it wasn't going to work, because I started to sneeze and my sinuses filled up with gunk.  I have that reaction to only two things: perfume and mold.  When I saw the jacuzzi IN THE FAMILY ROOM, I was pretty sure it wasn't somebody's Evening in Paris causing my snot.  We turned around and walked out (but not before DL made a beeline for the electrical panel.  Why does he do these things??)

Last on our list was Brandywine.  I knew it was out of our price range (by about 75 grand), but I figured that it would be another twenty-five years until it came on the market again, and who knew if I would live that long?  I was determined to get inside.

And when I did?  I was shocked.

Yep...another cliff-hanger in the great tradition of Charles Dickens.  Or, as I like to call him, Chuck-Baby.  Dickens is my man.  Stay tuned for part three of "The Brandywine Story," or Kirby Keeps Tearing Out Her Hair Which is Why it's So Short.

15 comments:

Bliss said...

Well jeeze.....

Bliss

Shannon at Fox Hollow Cottage said...

But... but... I was just getting into it!!!! (again)
I wanna hear more. You are dealing with a girl who starts a book and does not put it down until she is done.

Oh well... I guess I'll have to wait. See you soon ;)

Laura from Top This Top That said...

that aint right to leave us hanging like that! you tease!

Jessica @ Stay at Home-ista said...

The suspense! Come on...

Jessica

Eclectically Vintage said...

Oh how I adore tudors - they are my favorite house! Did you get a tudor ... the suspense is killing me!

Stop the madness - just tell me already.

And I can feel the house within seconds - sometimes we wouldn't even walk thru the front door (much to our realtor's annoyance)! But a gal knows what a gal wants.
Kelly

Andrea said...

Come on! It's been a long day and I just sat down to relax, and live vicariously through your house hunting!

Cassie @ Primitive & Proper said...

you are giving me a great idea... hot tub in the living room!
i want to read the whole story, too- give it up kirby!
and i am enjoying this- you wave a good tale, and dapple in some humor. :)

Linda @ it all started with paint said...

I'm am truly and deeply loving your story ... and am truly and not so deeply sitting on my seat (cuz I'm on the edge, you know) ...

But also please, please see my FB comment. Because I truly and deeply mean it!

:)

me

Mrs. Tuna said...

Man oh man. Hope you find the right fit for you guys.

reFresh reStyle said...

Great story :) I just hope it ends well ;)
Debbie

Kim said...

Here I am, large popcorn in one hand and an extra large soda in the other, waiting patiently for the next episode. Bum-bum-bummmm (insert musical note here).
I love a good story about bad real estate.

Anna at www.mylifeandkids.com said...

Of course you've got me hooked! You were the most clicked link at last week's #findingthefunny! We're featuring you tomorrow, and I'm pinning this. Thanks for linking up!

olddognewtits said...

Love it. House hunting can be a real chore. I think that's why call it hunting. You have to have the kind courage it takes to look at an innocent animal and shoot it between the eyes. Or, in your case, front hedges. Keep us posted.

Kelley said...

I can't wait to hear more!! I love the name "Brandywine", too! We JUST put our house on the market yesterday. EEK!

Kelley said...

Thanks for linking this up over at #findingthefunny last week!

01 09 10