Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Teacher Gifts

It's teacher appreciation week, and lots of bloggers have posted some very cute ideas for teacher gifts.
As a teacher, I love gifts.
But my wish list doesn't include anything you find on a "make this cute teacher gift" blog.***
Want to know what teachers REALLY want?  After a rather lengthy (20-minutes) and highly scientific (I asked six teachers at the lunch table) survey, here are the top four answers:


google images: again I steal from you.

4. BLING
Now, don't get me wrong--I love cute pins.  And macaroni necklaces.  But this necklace?  Is REAL appreciation.  This necklace is appreciation from not just the student, but also the Sultan of Brunei. 


google images, you are my friend


3.  BEVERAGES
This one is self-explanatory.  I mean, a teacher doesn't just take YOUR kids off YOUR hands for 7 hours a day, but a lot of other people's kids, too.  Buy the teacher a drink.  Or three bottles. It's the least you can do.



yep--google again!


2. VACATION PROPERTY
Believe me...there's a reason teachers get the summer off.  Shouldn't teachers have a beautiful place to enjoy those summers?



Thanks, google and Steve Jobs!
1. GUARANTEED RETIREMENT
Most teachers are like me--having to figure out what the "Second Act" will be, because we can't really afford to retire.  It would be nice to have a company to skim profits from  run.

There you have it--the top four teacher gifts for 2012.  Of course, if the Mayans are right, the only thing we'll have time to truly enjoy is the liquor. 
(To be honest, most of us said we'd like longer than 20 minutes for lunch and that we wished we could go somewhere other than the cafeteria to eat.)

***And those cute teacher gifts are really cute.  But my all time favorite things are notes, because I can put them in a notebook I have specially designed for my teacher stuff and look at them on the days when I want to walk out of the school and not ever come back.  You can imagine that it happens, especially when I tell you I teach 8th grade.
There's a reason for all of the wine in my house.



15 comments:

Susan said...

You crack me up!!!!! If you got those jewels, you could sell and then retire! I think notes would be my favorite too, at least the nice ones. 8th grade? Whew! Feeling for ya!

Big City Mom said...

i love this - as someone sending my kids to you for 7 hours a day :) and yes, my teacher appreciation bouquet is feeling a little uh inadequate right about now.

next year, i will so spring for the jewels. or at least the liquor.

Marianne said...

What? No hand soap or candles? (;

Jessica @ Stay at Home-ista said...

#3!!!

Jessica
stayathomeista.com

Sara said...

Laughed. Out. Loud...especially when I saw Vacation Property. LOVE this.

Tisha said...

It's too bad we don't live in your school district, because I am getting all of our teachers booze and diamonds this year. It's like I read your mind.

Bliss said...

You're so dam funny. (Tisha's comment almost makes me want to be a teacher!).

~Bliss~

Dharma said...

So the pony is a no? Shitburgers, how am I going to get that thing back in the car?

Andrea said...

This is causing me to rethink the homemade chocolate chip cookies we've started giving out! The kids like to gift everyone, and with 6 teachers or so each...hmmm....maybe if I bought the jewels in bulk there would be a discount (I'd figure you into the tally, of course)!

thistlewoodfarm said...

Hahaha :) And to think I was making monogrammed soap dispensers.

Really.

:) me

Eclectically Vintage said...

Alcohol is the way to most people's hearts - especially ones around teens so many hours out of the day!

So it sounds like a bottle of vino with a hand written note from the kids = perfection!
Kelly

Heidi @ Decor & More said...

OMG, you nailed this one, Kirby!! Yes, one of each for me, too, please. Counting down the days until I'll have a stretch of freedom. :) You, too.
xo Heidi

Kelly said...

My husband is a teacher, and he'd definitely agree with this list -- maybe not the bling, but sometimes a wife can benefit from her teacher husband, right?

karen@somewhatquirky said...

Perfect. Just perfect. Can you imagine if someone really gifted you with vacation property?...

Bliss said...

Fine I'm not sending you the macaroni necklace with matching bracelet I made.

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