Thursday, April 5, 2012

'Cause you know I'll cut a B

Mrs. E.B. Duffey, in her inimitable way, would like to be candid. Actually, she would like ME to be candid. I'm not sure if Mrs. Duffey is actually aware that if you ask me to tell you like it is? I will. And chances won't like it.

 She says: "One fact all candid women will admit, that their sex now labors under physical disabilities which, if no means be discovered for their removal, must prove an effectual bar to any general prosecution of the plans devised for any woman by those who are seeking to ameliorate her condition." (This is where most women would say 'WTF Mrs. Duffey? What's that supposed to mean?') I'm thinking she might be talking about my particular physical big ass. And she's alluding to the fact that my life won't get better until means are found to remove it. Obviously, that would be liposuction. Because Lord knows that if she were alive today, she wouldn't expect me to exercise, fercryin' out loud.

But here's where Mrs. Duffey pi$$es me off. She goes on to say "Mentally, too, as well as physically, our women fall far below the standard they should reach. To tell the truth, when I think over all their shortcomings, I am ashamed of them."

Really? You're ashamed of us, Mrs. Duffey? Well, what about YOU, Mrs. Duffey? Hmmmm? You're pretty shameful yourself, using your "Mrs." to hide behind.

I think Mrs. E.B. Duffey needs to be very careful. I'm gathering a posse and we're going to jump her in the parking lot.

Don't dis your sex, Mrs. Duffey. We're watching you. And I'll cut a B.


Sweet Posy Dreams said...

I wonder if she could have meant education for women?

Susan said...

You go girl!

Heidi @ Decor & More said...

Ha Ha! Get 'er! You always make me smile, Kirby!
xo Heidi

Bliss said...

I could of told her my fat azz was a liability, but she obviously never heard the saying the more cushion, the more.......

Just saying!


Tina@WhatWeKeep said...

I don't know.
How scary can you be with those bangs???

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